Hey everyone. Elisabeth and I had another baby. NBD.
While I was changing my youngest daughter’s diaper, I told my eldest daughter a funny story. When she was only a month old, Elisabeth and I took her to a friend’s wedding in the mountains (because we were insane back then). In the middle of the night, I took my daughter into the basement for a feeding. While I was changing her diaper, she decided to let out a giant projectile poop, which got all over the wall and (yes) into my mouth. I told this story while I was changing my youngest daughter’s poopy diaper. It got a big laugh.
Parenthood is amazing and worth every minute. I have to say these stories out loud, because if I don’t I will forget them. For every poopy diaper story there are a million joyful moments that you feel like you’re missing if you don’t video tape your children 24/7. I say this a lot: Parenthood mostly gets a bad rap because parents themselves undersell it. We undersell it because we cannot put our joy into words. So here are some:
My own infant daughter shit in my mouth and I don’t even care. It is a little bit more than a joke. That is how much I love her and how much joy she brings me. And I bet there are a million other parents with similar stories; stories they forget about because the goodness easily overtakes the bad, frustrating, and poopy. If you are even thinking a little bit about becoming a parent, do it.
Comey has a good shot at a dismissal.
I have said to you psychos before that requesting dismissal of a criminal charge rarely works at the Federal level. And I still think that it is more likely that we will see a trial in James Comey’s case than not, but the chance of a dismissal here is much higher than normal (think 45% vs. 1% normally).
If you want to read Comey’s arguments on your own, you can do that here, but I’ll summarize it. Comey is asking for the charges against him to be dismissed because:
The prosecution itself is vindictive.
The indictment contains an obvious lie.
The attorney who is bringing the indictment was not properly appointed.
I think the strength-order of these arguments is 3, 1, and then 2. It is very obvious to me that this is a vindictive prosecution. In their brief, Comey’s team lays out how Trump publicly sought out a prosecution of Comey, to the point where he was forcefully directing his attorney general to bring charges:
The Trump Administration reportedly had been pressuring interim U.S. Attorney Erik Siebert—whom President Trump had nominated to the permanent post of U.S. Attorney, and who had been unanimously appointed to continue as interim U.S. Attorney by the judges in this District—to indict Mr. Comey, among others. When Mr. Siebert appeared unwilling, President Trump told reporters in the Oval Office that he wanted Mr. Siebert “out.” The DOJ then fired First Assistant U.S. Attorney Maya Song. The next day, President Trump publicly posted a statement on social media explicitly pressing the Attorney General to prosecute Mr. Comey, Attorney General James, and Senator Adam Schiff. The post read as follows:
“Pam: I have reviewed over 30 statements and posts saying that, essentially, “same old story as last time, all talk, no action. Nothing is being done. What about Comey, Adam “Shifty” Schiff, Leticia??? They’re all guilty as hell, but nothing is going to be done.” Then we almost put in a Democrat supported U.S. Attorney, in Virginia, with a really bad Republican past. A Woke RINO, who was never going to do his job. That’s why two of the worst Dem Senators PUSHED him so hard. He even lied to the media and said he quit, and that we had no case. No, I fired him, and there is a GREAT CASE, and many lawyers, and legal pundits, say so. Lindsey Halligan is a really good lawyer, and likes you, a lot. We can’t delay any longer, it’s killing our reputation and credibility. They impeached me twice, and indicted me (5 times!), OVER NOTHING. JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED, NOW!!! President DJT.” Less than 48 hours after President Trump’s post, Lindsey Halligan was sworn in as interim U.S. Attorney for this District.
The Wall Street Journal has since reported that Trump’s message to Bondi was probably intended to be a DM, which I think is important (more on that later). But overall, you can see why an argument about a vindictive prosecution is so pertinent here: Trump wanted to see Comey prosecuted and bent the rules to secure it.
The argument that the prosecuting attorney - Lindsey Halligan - was not properly appointed is also strong, and may actually be the most straightforward argument. Ed Whelan has an explainer here, but he also as this tweet which is helpful:
Overall, Halligan’s appointment (or lack thereof) and the indictment itself were both sloppy. In the indictment, Halligan misstates Senator Ted Cruz’s questioning of Comey, which is at the heart of the case. From Comey’s brief:
Subbing out the “Clinton Administration” for the “Clinton Investigation”1 is a mistake Federal prosecutors do not make. Halligan - who is an insurance attorney - is simply out of her depth here.2
This is where we get back to Trump’s message to Pam Bondi. I routinely get texts from lefty friends who generally say things like, “Trump is never leaving office. This is an autocracy. He is a dictator. All of America is over. Brunch is canceled.”
I do think Trump is a wannabe autocrat and that he views the Presidency as an extension of himself, not any sort of service to the public. He is an evil man and is governing like one. But I must emphasize this over and over again: He is sooooooooo stupid. His message to Bondi may have sunk his entire case, and he was too stupid to have it be a DM! It is so dumb it is hard to imagine a child doing something like this, let alone the President.
He has the IQ of a lobster. He is deeply stupid on a level most normal people are unfamiliar with. He cannot form complete sentences. His brain is rotting from the inside out. And he is fat.
Is it bad that Trump is targeting James Comey because he has a personal vendetta against him? Yes. But it is almost comical because it is clearly going to backfire in Trump’s face, mostly due to his own stupidity. So, take heart: It is hard to take over the world’s oldest democracy when your brain is a shoe.
Do I think Comey will be successful in securing a dismissal? It is hard for me to see because the bar is so high, but if the money line is +200, I am betting on Comey every time. But the chances of a “not guilty” verdict here are virtually 100%.
I will be changing diapers and sleeping for a while, but I’ll be back to write about the elections in Virginia and New Jersey, and then we’ll be churning out Jackals on time again. Sorry for the delay, but I have a good excuse.
I think it is likely that during his questioning, Cruz misspoke and did intend to say, “The Clinton Investigation.” But words matter, especially in a perjury case. If Cruz asked Comey about the Clinton Administration, and Comey responded to the question as it was asked, then it is impossible to charge him with perjury. Related to this, it is why Bill Clinton did not commit perjury when he said he did not have “sexual relations” with Monica Lewinsky. (He just deserved to be impeached and removed for all the other stuff.)
For a deeper read on Halligan’s incompetence, this is lots of fun.